Limbo

Have you ever been in that space where two steps in any direction takes you anywhere but forward? That's what limbo feels like. It's like walking on a treadmill hoping to reach a far off destination. So many times in life we are faced with decisions that have no real resolution. They just are. Any direction you turn you find yourself just turning around again. Love can be limbo. That emotion that propels you forward while holding you back at the same time. That feeling of wanting to be happy but knowing that your happiness will cost others theirs. Any decisions you make will not move you forward, it will only leave you in limbo. Hoping for something that will never come to pass. Love can linger or be fleeting. How can such a small word hold so much power over our lives? How do we get to that point where the same person that makes you feel like you are floating at the same time makes you feel like you're drowning? It's enough to make you want to give up on love even though you know that you can't. Love is there, holding you there in it's trance. Choice is at times a delusion. Try as we might love rules with its power unchecked and unchallenged. Sometimes it hurts, and sometimes it heals. The immortal saying is ever true: the heart wants what the heart wants. Surrender to it or fight, it doesn't really matter because in the end love is all we really have. So until a path becomes clear, float on. Limbo awaits.

Contemplating Murder Part 1: A short story

Sure, you're thinking, "not me", or "I would never...". There are a lot of things to consider when you're contemplating murder. Time, place, and method are the usual. There are serious levels of the human psyche that one must break down in order to take a life. But what if you had a flawless plan? What if you could find a way to get away with it? Would you do it? No, you say? Still don't think you could ever stoop that low? Well meet Terrance Height, a troubled young man that has had a rough life. Terrance was never really popular at school. He wasn't athletic nor was he particularly attractive. Over the years young Terrance grew cold towards the world. He may not have had what others often wanted, but he was smart, intelligent even. Scary part is, his intelligence was steadily growing. He was adjusting to his life, viewing the world through the eyes of a closeted genius. For a second things were looking up for young Terrance. He even has a girlfriend. Yes, things were indeed looking good. Following suit with most dramas, though, something happens. His girlfriend leaves. He gets kicked out of school. He loses his job. He gets mugged. He even gets kicked out of the house. Rock bottom. Terrance is completely devastated. What would you do? Rob, steal, suicide?  No, not Terrance, he was stronger than that. He peddles for a little and gambles for a lot. He wins, an unusual chain of events. He uses his money for bigger bets. He wins again! He buys a house, car and a life. He is not happy yet, but he is alive. From the outside it looks like he's doing well. The sad part is his big bet was an illegal score. He gets busted, not even knowing why. Once again poor Terrance is completely destitute. He is charged and put in a work sentence program. After a year, he is released. He is in his mid twenties now. He decides that he is tired of his old life and tries to find work. He finds it at a soup kitchen.....TO BE CONTINUED